are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You ruined the universe
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
