Taylor Swift is so right about you.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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