yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
