I bet he comes in French.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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