My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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