Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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