either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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