Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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