did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
