just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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