Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
