ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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