that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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