I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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