Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
