Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
