Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Houston, we have a blender
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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