sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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