were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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