I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
