your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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