Plan B is the new Plan A
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
