Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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