So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
