If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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