Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
