I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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