Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
