Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
