He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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