Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
