and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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