i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
