wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
