is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
