god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
