She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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