can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
