We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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