I'm pants shitting drunk right now
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
