So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
