Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
