Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
