I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
