Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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