Plan B is the new Plan A
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
