At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
