we're blogging at a bar
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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