Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
