I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
